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ccc0ntr0versial

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i'm a bitch. [18 Sep 2006|11:00pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | a year from now -across five aprils ]

i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.

i'm so sorry.
everything reminds me of you.
i really wish it had worked out.







but you're gone.
and now, so am i.

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my baby. [20 Jun 2006|11:34pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | speechless - fenix tx ]

'06 toyota corolla:<Br>
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y174/sincerelynotyours/corolla4dr-ce.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a> <br><br>

[except mine's in blue]


....so kids, what should i name her?

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:] [09 Jun 2006|03:49am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | move along -all american rejects ]

i love my boyfriend.
he is perfect.
we are perfect.

i love how we get into fights over stupid things and then five minutes later we're hugging each other & smiling.
i love how we both make fun our moms.
i love how we both have gone through the same exact shit.
i love how we're pretty much the same person.
i love how he's not afraid to blast AAR at 3:30 in the morning.
i love the fact that he drives me home at 3:30 in the morning
i love how he's always there for me.
i love how we see each other EVERY day.
i love how he cleans my room and i make him food.
i love how we watch disney movies together.
i love how i can fall asleep in his arms at any point in time.
i love how we both fell for each other way fast. and thats okay.


<b>lovelovelovelovelovelove.</b>
hehe. &hearts;

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<3 [22 May 2006|01:53pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | dont cry out -shiny toy guns ]

i'm going through a electronica stage.



listen to: shiny toy guns.










also. TK is mine. so back off. :]

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[18 May 2006|08:36am]
[ music | do you know what i love the most? -saves the day ]

ooo my goodness.

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[10 May 2006|09:38pm]
sometimes i wish i could go back in time and make different decisions.
but then again, i think too much.



lots of regrets.
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[06 May 2006|09:21pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | artificial light -rainer maria ]

every time i look in the mirror i feel really fat and disgusting.
so; it's time for a diet.

take a stab 2 Comments Add To Memories Edit

[04 May 2006|06:08pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | combat baby -metric ]

i'm getting my tattoo done in florida when i go visit my half brother with my dad.
i'm pretty excited about that.
the best part is my dad isnt even going to find out about it AND adam is going to pay for half.
badass marine brothers are the best.
:D

take a stab 1 Comment Add To Memories Edit

[26 Apr 2006|12:15am]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | brand new ]

things on my mind right now (in no particular order):

-brand new gives me chills.
-i miss someone a lot.
-i need to hang out with someone else asap.
-kohls is starting to suck.
-i'm poor and have bills to pay.
-my car is going to die soon & i still havent gotten the key/ignition thing fixed.
-i over analyze things.
-every time i look in the mirror i see something wrong with me.
-i'm definately gaining weight.
-i need a prom dress.
-this weekend needs to be here. like, now.
-my friends disappeared.
-i will not be attending thursday/minus the bear on thursday.





why can't i ever think positively?

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[23 Apr 2006|12:25pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | combat baby -metric ]

hmmm...so there's this boy...he's taking a train for 9 hours on friday just to see me. he's pretty awesome.
:]

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[17 Apr 2006|01:55pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | crash and burn -savage garden ]

lollolololol.
i'm DEFINATLEY listening to savage garden right now.
and loving it.

take a stab 2 Comments Add To Memories Edit

[14 Apr 2006|01:52pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | the best of you -foo fighters ]

i FINALLY got my ipod to update.
so there is new good music on it.
and that makes me happy.















i'm still lonely.

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story of my life: [10 Apr 2006|02:38pm]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | seven years -saosin ]

i want what i can't have.

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[05 Apr 2006|12:52am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | black bird -the beatles ]

please figure out what you want. it's tearing me apart.

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[03 Apr 2006|02:58pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | jude law and a semester abroad -brand new ]

i keep having dreams with one of my ex boyfriends in them. whack.

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sometimes i love pop songs. [03 Apr 2006|12:35am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | maria mena! ]

Vague sound of rain
pierces through my song again,
but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays, so I let it burn.

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor,
but I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water, and call him up for more.

And I say "Baby- yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely, and I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me, and I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do- you'd feel it too."

He said "I'm sorry. So sorry. I'm sorry, so sorry."

He grabs my wrists
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I whisper, "Why can't you love me? I'll change for you; I'll play the part."

And I say "Baby- so I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely, and I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me, and I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do- you'd feel it too."

He said "I'm sorry. So sorry. I'm sorry, I am sorry."

take a stab 2 Comments Add To Memories Edit

[01 Apr 2006|01:08am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | fairy tales tell tales -cursive ]

cursive is SO good. listen to them. now. or i will no longer be able to associate myself with you.

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basically. [27 Mar 2006|04:48pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | cavanaugh park -something corporate ]

"...there was never any place for someone like me to be totally happy..."

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[23 Mar 2006|11:01am]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | a year from now -across five aprils ]

so, i've come to the conclusion that i give my heart away and i trust boys too easily. i assume that every single new one in my life is going to be different then the last, and not tear it to shreds. i'm convinced nice boys exist, but in reality even if they seem perfect, they're jerks. i'm never going to find the right one, because my perfect boy doesn't exist. and every boy that came close to it has hurt me or isn't interested. i just want someone who is silly and will make me laugh, i want someone i can play super mario with, i want someone who doesnt care how i look when i see them, i want someone who would choose cuddling over sex, i want someone who loves music as much as me and will go to shows with me, i want someone who will hold my hand wherever we go, i want someone who will appreciate me, i want someone who will just lay there with me and tell me how much they care about me and how beautiful they think i am, and mean it.

i thought you were that someone.

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[23 Mar 2006|03:03am]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL ]

i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.
i will not fall so quickly for a boy ever again.

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fuck. [19 Mar 2006|01:54pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | artificial light -rainer maria ]

so, i'm pretty sure i either have Mono...


-Fever, which may range from 101 °F(38.3 °C) to 104 °F(40 °C), and chills.
-Sore throat, often with white patches on the tonsils (which may resemble strep throat).
-Swollen lymph nodes all over the body, especially the lymph nodes in the neck.
-Swollen tonsils.
-Headache or body aches.
-A lack of energy and fatigue.
-Loss of appetite.
-Pain in the upper left part of the abdomen, which may indicate that the spleen has become enlarged.


or Strep Throat....


-Sore throat that comes on rapidly.
-Fever, sometimes greater than 102° F.
-Back of the throat that is raw and red.
-White pus on tonsils.
-Tender, high lymph nodes in neck.
-Absence of cough, stuffy nose, or other upper-respiratory symptoms.



i'm suffering from most of those symptoms. kwlejfgwkegbwekugakwjehgkwlejg.

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[17 Mar 2006|07:51pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | a year from now -across five aprils ]

it's pretty rediculous how much a song can completely change & affect your mood.

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[16 Mar 2006|09:52pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | songbird -engine down ]

kohl's called me back today, i have a group interview tuesday at 6:30.
i'm getting my car back tomorrow.
& my dad gave me some cash.


minus the fact that i'm still sick...good day :]

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i'm cold. [14 Mar 2006|07:36pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | hey there delilah -plain white t's ]

this weekend was amazinggggg:

FRIDAY:
party at lucys houseeee. i got drunk and nick was there and it was probably one of the best nights ever ever everrrr.

SATURDAY:
i stole my moms car & picked up leeleeface. we went to the mall & saw mad peeeeps.
then bonfire at lauren's house.
then wendy's at midnight!
and thennn the car stalled because i was going too fast trying to get away from the mexicans following us.

SUNDAY:
nick came over! : ]
and we started painting my room. its looking pretty sweet.
then we saw the hills have eyes.



OH, and now i'm sick. yay fevers!

tomorrow is me & nicks 1 month anniversary thingieee.
i hope i get better so we can hang out.

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[10 Mar 2006|12:11am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | it's cool, we can still be friends -bright eyes ]

so today i realized i still can't listen to saves the day anymore. or northstar. fuck. whats wrong with me? i HAVE a new boyfriend. and he's great. why do i still care about the jerk from RI and what he's doing and if he ever thinks about me or misses me. wlevgnwkjeghwelhvwk. get out of my head.


this is what happens when i'm home alone so much.
i start thinking about things a lot.
and memories come back that i wish i forgot.

take a stab 2 Comments Add To Memories Edit

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